Monday, July 06, 2009

Raring To Go and Come Home

I'm gearing up to go on a road trip by myself
later on this week.
Nearly two full weeks
visiting family and friends.
Sandwiched in there are some diagnostic tests
in two different hospitals.
The final two tests to help the powers that be
determine whether heart surgery is in my future.

One of the things I'll be doing on this trip
is buying a gravestone for Rodney's grave.
He would have been 48 this past December and it will feel good
to have his place in our family marked in a permanent way.
As far as I know I am the only one
to visit his grave since his burial.
When I told to my mom this afternoon,
who has never been to her son's grave,
not even knowing where he is buried,
she thanked me for seeing this done.

I've booked myself into a beautiful bed and breakfast
for a few nights of the trip.
That feels like a lovely luxury.
I'm not normally a fan of B&Bs
but this place feels like
it will nourish my need for
sanctuary and solitude.
My time there is nestled between the
two diagnostic tests and feels almost like
a guilty pleasure.

I'm choosing not to take the laptop with me.
The break will do me good.
I'll be away from the computer for the next
two weeks.
Talk to you when I get back.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Headed In The Right Direction In Six Words

Baby stepping towards emotional/spiritual health.



~ Show My Face.


Thursday, July 02, 2009

Being Human

"God apparently loves freedom as much as incarnation. And that is the rub of time and history and our interminable groanings. We are the victims of our own freedom and our bodily incarnations. God took that great risk in creating free human persons, and we must take it too. Doing it perfectly is not the goal, doing it is the goal.

The sons and daughters of God tend to be afraid of freedom and do not trust incarnation. We would rather hide behind the securities of law instead of taking God’s risks. We would rather be “spiritual” than just being human."

Adapted from Near Occasions of Grace, p.5

~via

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Christening Hope

Summer holidays begin for me today.
The morning before last
there was ice on
the car's windshield.
Somehow ice and summer
only belong together in a cold drink,
not in a weather forecast, no?

Oldest and youngest sons
are leaving on a river trip today.
I told God last week that with
everything else going on in my life
something happening to either one of them
would be unbearable.
Like I can control it, you know?
Eventually I told God that I would trust
that he'd give me the strength
to deal with whatever life brings my way.
I have an unnatural fear of water over my head,
never mind a kayaks and rapids
and bears in the bush combination.
Which is to say I will stay safely on shore.

The last time I was on a lake,
which had a 300 foot bottom,
dearest one, only daughter,
youngest son and oldest son
ganged up on me
just to scare me
right in the middle of the lake.
They all laughed at the thought.
I started to cry.
I'm still not impressed
can't you tell?

For my last day of work yesterday
I was able unleash some creativity.
In my little office area
there are no less than half a dozen items
with the word hope on them.

Now, if I ever own a boat,
God forbid,
you know what her name's going to be.

Monday, June 29, 2009

New Again

New week.
New day.
New beginning.
New hope.



Sunday, June 28, 2009

Two Beautiful Daughters

This one's a little touche for me right now:
"Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are anger and courage. Anger at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain as they are."- St Augustine

~via Waving or Drowning?


Saturday, June 27, 2009

Six Words, Six Words, Six Words

Accepting reality takes lots of grace.



~ Show My Face.